A safe harbor where beliefs are respected and kindness prevails.

Know Your Truth

by

fotolia_8699262_Subscription_LOne very important way to get the most satisfaction out of your life is to learn to know YOUR authentic truth…not what you THINK is your truth. It is hard to see sometimes because we tend to pick up on what others see FOR us. In our need for approval, our need to be part of a “tribe,” we are often influenced by what others think we should be doing. They are eager to tell us because it validates their own choices…their opinions…THEIR soul choices. So how do you know when something is truly your truth? The easiest way is to notice how it feels in your gut. Does it delight you? Does it feel like something awesome and new?

If an idea, a feeling, a desire feels really good to you, you might be tempted to share it with others for validation. Sometimes in doing that our direction is thwarted because the person we are sharing it with doesn’t have the same feeling for it that we do. No one else can be expected to “get” what you are feeling because it is unique only to you. Sometimes sharing with others can crush a seedling of an idea before it is ready to stand on its own. Treat an idea that feels so good like a delicate sprout that needs to fill out before being put on stage for review. Don’t give up on it, just hold it close to the vest for a while and give it time to develop.

There are many reasons why people may want to discourage an idea you have…many of those reasons are good, some are bad.

Best Intentions:

They want to protect you from embarrassment

They are concerned about your finances

They have seen you try something similar in the past that didn’t work

They don’t want you to push yourself out of your comfort zone

Not so great intentions:

They are jealous

They don’t trust their own ideas

They fear your success will take you away from them

Well enough of that! But how on EARTH do you learn to trust your own judgment about what is right for you…what is your truth, your soul’s purpose?

There are many exercises you can do to develop an improved dialogue with your higher self so that you can learn to better trust your own judgment. You may make mistakes in this learning process, but you will learn…and you get stronger for the effort.

Here is a process I have been doing myself for years and it has really helped me. At first, I recommend doing this simple process daily if you can. I developed this process when I came to understand that we are made up of several different “bodies” that either work together or against each other. After you do this simple exercise a few times you will get an idea of what I am talking about. The four bodies are physical, emotional, mental, and soul or spiritual.

  • First find a quiet place to either sit or stand for a few minutes. Then ask how your physical body feels, and what it needs … is it tired, rested, strong? Your physical body consists of your muscles, your bones, your organs, your skin…you get the idea. So ask how the physical aspect of your total self is feeling at the moment and wait a minute to hear an answer.
  • Next ask to get in touch with your emotional body. I usually start by putting my attention in the heart area, and then ask how you are feeling “emotionally” at the moment. Are you happy, sad, neutral, anxious, etc. Ask how the emotional aspect of your total self is feeling at the moment and wait a minute to hear an answer.
  • Next you will ask to get a reading of your mental body. That involves your mind and your nervous system. Is your mind working quickly today or are you a bit fuzzy? Ask how that aspect of your total self is feeling at the moment and wait a minute to hear an answer.
  • Then, finally, ask for your higher self or soul body to become fully engaged with the other three bodies and ask to bring all aspects (bodies) into focus with each other. I usually feel a deep sense of relaxation at this stage.

At this point, you can trust what you are thinking and feeling. You can trust your own inner voice. It may take a few days of trying this to identify your different bodies, and that is just fine. Simply ask, listen, and then move on to the next step even if you don’t hear anything.

The reason to recognize and honor each of the different bodies is really simple. We know that if we are emotionally upset, we might make bad mental decisions. We know that if we are physically tired, we may snap at someone emotionally.

Think of it as like when you go to the doctor to have your eyes examined. When they flip the different lenses in front of your eye, each layer improves or worsens your vision. When you are making decisions, ALL your bodies are involved in the process, and if one is out of whack, it will affect your decision-making process.

This is just one of the many things you can do to develop a trust in the wisdom of your higher self as your best councilor…to guide you to your own truth. There are many “roads to Rome” and I humbly present this as just one of them … worth giving a try.

Dealing With Loss

by

Fotolia_1527412_Subscription_LThere is no easy way to deal with the loss of a family member or close friend. It just plain hurts and feels like it always will. Our family is going through this now and in pondering what I could write that would be helpful to others in this situation, I realized how many different aspects there are to this subject.

First, do you believe in some kind of “afterlife?” A very large part of our population walked away from traditional religion because much of it doesn’t “fit” with modern times. That was true for me when I couldn’t get answers that made sense … such as why native people’s never exposed to my religious teaching would not be admitted to “Heaven”… or even worse, if they were exposed and didn’t choose our version of God, they would go to Hell…where it is really hot and you suffer for the rest of eternity. Huh? But the fear of such consequences is so deep in us that, even if we walked away from our family’s teachings, on some level we are still subject to those beliefs. Most of the time it doesn’t matter what we have chosen to believe…until someone dies. Then, who does one turn to for an understanding of the process?

Many will share words of kindness. That is human nature and that is a lovely aspect of human nature indeed. But that doesn’t help answer questions about where your loved one goes when their spirit leaves the body. For me, even though I did walk away from my family religion, I never stopped searching for answers. There are many of us that have spent our lives doing that, with the sincerity of true seekers. So for all my research, I truly do believe there is an afterlife for the souls of the departed. I believe the soul drops the personality of the life they were living along with the body, and they become the essence of who they are … pure spirit in the process of evolving. I don’t believe that the “other side” is a place where you are rewarded or punished for your life’s deeds. I believe you connect with your soul family there. But how does it “feel” for them.

Next one has to try to understand the difference between the personality and the soul. Wow, that’s a big one, but lets give it a try. The personality is made up of many emotions and opinions…love, hate, passion, fear, joy, anger, revenge, pity, compassion, disappointment, frustration, etc. It is at the level of the personality that beliefs like “An eye for an eye” come from. Now try to image being in a state without such emotions … not emotionless, but rather being in a state of pure positive energy and viewing all human interaction from a higher place, your higher self, and without judgment about the behavior of others … sort of Saint like. That is the soul level in my humble opinion.

Finally, if you can believe that we each have a soul, that there is someplace for that soul to go when you die, a good and comforting place with family there to welcome you, it makes the personal loss of your departed loved one easier to bare. The loss is still real … they are no longer here to talk to, to plan things with, to see on vacations, or to watch grow old along with you. They are just plain gone from your life and the more you loved them, the bigger the hole they leave behind. But if you can consider what I have described above, perhaps at least that is comforting…knowing that they are OK, in fact, they are great. Then let your healing process begin.

I do sincerely hope this is helpful. It is meant to be. So many people are experiencing loss right now, with missing airplanes and sinking boats…tornadoes and mud slides. Their pain is so real but in time most will heal from their loss. I believe what I have written here to be true, not just a “feel good band-aid.” It is the result of a lifetime of study.

Now go out and hug someone you appreciate! It will make you feel better even if you haven’t just lost someone!

What Do You Want To Bloom In Your Life This Spring?

by

Fotolia_29701059_Subscription_XXLThe wonderful thing about the changing of the seasons is that it provides opportunities to celebrate different aspects of our lives. Spring is when the light returns, when the weather warms, when we can start to spend more time outside because the days grow longer, when the blossoms burst out of winters barren branches. Life is fresh, young and new.

Most of us have traditions for each season too. For me it is Easter. For my Jewish friends it is Passover. Each religion has its special celebrations. Some of the traditions we repeat every year because they are touchstones to things that made us happy in our childhood. I HAVE to make an Easter basket for my husband every year. I HAVE to color Easter eggs. They are my touchstones to feeling good and there is only one time of year I can do that particular thing.

But this year, I want to start a new tradition. I want to think about and write down what I intend to spring forth for the first time this year for me. I will still do all my old patterns, even though they may not always have the power they once did, but I want to add one new tradition. Here are some things I have been thinking about and I encourage you to make your own list too. A list of possibilities for Spring!

  1. Reach out to make a new friend that has the same hobby or interest that I have.
  2. Plant something I have never grown before.
  3. Pick one activity for just one day that I want to volunteer for, such as working in a soup kitchen.
  4. Plan on a Sunday meal in a restaurant I have never tried, perhaps with a kind of food I have never tried.
  5. Volunteer to walk dogs at the local animal shelter.
  6. Buy or make myself a new piece of jewelry.
  7. Go on a hike at a new location.
  8. Take a Sunday ride to someplace I am curious about.
  9. Go to see a local live performance, of music or theater.
  10. Go wine tasting.
  11. Go to the Lavender fields.
  12. Take a crafting class.
  13. Take a golf lesson.
  14. Take singing lessons.

So now that I have my list, I will pick one of them and plan to do it EVERY year…not just this year. It will be my new Spring Fling! It will be my new touchstone. It might make the other things I ALWAYS do more joyful. I will not pick something because it is “good for me” or because I want to be “good.” I will pick something that stirs a little emotion in me, that “wakes up” part of me that may have been put to sleep by a life experience.

When I entered High School, I LOVED to sing. I wanted to sign up for chorus. But my mother, for a variety of reasons, told me I couldn’t…that if I sang too much when I was young I would get throat cancer. So I stopped singing.

Recently I finally found a church that suites me, after avoiding church all my adult life. They sing there. I sing there. I cry when I sing there! Finally, 50 years later, I have found a touchstone that makes me feel so good that I cry with joy!

This will be an easy habit for you to remember…because NATURE will remind you. The first blossom you see, the first bird making a nest, you will be reminded that there is a “blossom” in you that wants to come forth…drawn out but the light.

Time to find a new blossom for your soul!

Who Do You Listen To?

by

Fotolia_29658537_Subscription_XLI read somewhere recently that most of the time that when we think that we are “thinking” we are really just running old tapes…reliving experiences…not really thinking about something new. I thought that was pretty profound information and, when I started to pay attention, I found it to be largely true for me!  So when running those old tapes, who am I listening to? Whoever was around at the time? My parents? My minister? My high school girlfriend? My therapist?

Most likely, it wasn’t ME I was listening to.

This is how we grow up.  We have experiences and then we get feedback from other humans to sort out what to do with our experiences. So we listen to a LOT of other voices in the process of maturing…and…if it is true that we do replay so many ‘past experience’ tapes in our heads, we might still be listening to our 5th grade teacher without even realizing it!

With the world changing as fast as it is, it is important to start tuning into your own higher voice…to start learning HOW to hear your own wisdom instead of the wisdom of other humans who may or may not be any smarter than you…or wiser…just perhaps older?

There are many ways to learn to listen.

  • Meditation is one great way if you can sit and be silent.  Your higher self will send you your own original thoughts, and in time you can learn to hear the difference between your own higher voice and those of other voices from the past.  There are many great teachers to help you learn how to do that.  They say that when the student asks, the teacher will appear.  So that is one option open to you and if you think it might work for you, ask to be directed to the right teacher.
  • Journaling is another way to let your very own thoughts into your conscious mind.  Keep a journal or simple note pad by the bed and when you wake up first thing in the morning, write down your freshest thoughts.  Many people have wonderful original thoughts when they sleep, but if they don’t write them down right away, they can dissolve like the morning mist on the mountain when the sun rises in the sky.
  • My favorite of course is to use some form of divination, like a deck of message cards. When I want some advice from my own personal higher self, I sit calmly, take some deep breaths, center myself, and clearly ask my question.  Then I draw a card and ponder what the answer means to me. In the early days of using the I-Ching, I kept a record of all my questions and all my answers, and what I thought they meant at the time.  Once in a while now I look back at those 40 year old notes and am amazed at how profound the advice was.  At the time I wasn’t sure, but looking back, I am so glad I did that homework.  Now it gives me more faith in my own inner voice, my own higher self.  No one can teach you that.  You just have to put in the time, ask your questions and listen to you answers.

All this assumes that you understand you HAVE a higher self, a soul-voice. The only way to really trust that you do is to make contact and start listening. I can’t convince you, nor should you listen to me about it.  It is something that must be experience to be understood and believed.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are in your life.  There is no time like the present to get started…that is unless your adolescent boyfriend is still in your head telling you that you just aren’t that smart!  Boot him out and get started on your adventure!

You are the only one who can!

Feedback